Chapter Two

“Michi, didn’t you hear me?” Kaede’s deep voice and warm breath broke Michiru’s reverie. He blushed and turned his face away so his friend wouldn’t see his embarrassment. Kaede always did that, speaking so close to his ear when he’s distracted. He was annoyed with Kaede, but he was more annoyed with himself for reacting so strangely. Why did he feel so shy about being close to Kaede? They’ve been friends for a long time, not to mention they’re both men, so there shouldn’t be any reason to be embarrassed about being in close proximity with his best friend.

“Hey, are you really going to submit this article? Wouldn’t it be bad if your fans knew that you don’t have any romantic experience at all?” Kaede asked seriously. “But really, I’m amazed that you were able to stay pure this long. You must have a lot of frustrations pent up, huh?” Kaede smirked at him.

He really knows how to piss me off, Michiru fumed inwardly. “Oh, shut up. I’m not a man-whore like you. What’s wrong with waiting for the right person? Unlike you cynical bastard I still believe in love,” Michiru said coldly. Now, like many times before, he wondered how they had managed to stay the best of friends when they were polar opposites. He turned back to his article and waited for Kaede’s snide remark, but nothing came except a soft, “Love, huh.” as if he was in deep thought. He felt uneasy at this unusual reaction and changed the subject.

“About that article, I wrote that on a whim and as expected it was rejected by Mika-san. Speaking of her, I believe that’s her at the door.” Michiru got up when he heard the doorbell. As he passed by Kaede he saw his friend’s face darken, but because it was so fleeting he thought that he must have imagined it. Michiru knew that Kaede and Mika-san didn’t exactly get along so maybe that was the reason Kaede was upset for a moment. Still, Michiru was a little unsettled that Kaede would show such open dislike for a woman, and a kind and pretty woman at that. Wasn’t Kaede supposed to be a Casanova of sorts?

With all these jumbled thoughts in mind, he opened the door and welcomed a smiling Mika-san inside. “Good evening, sensei. I brought your favorite cake,” Mika-san said brightly. Her expression faltered a little when she saw Kaede come up behind Michiru. “Oh, Takagi-san is also here, as usual,” Mika-san said sweetly, though she put a little stress on that last part of her sentence. “Hello, Mika-san. Yes, I’m here as usual. Because Michiru and I are really close. You know that don’t you,” Kaede’s words are dripping with sarcasm.

Michiru sensed the uncomfortable atmosphere between the two and it’s making him more and more curious. Did something happen between them without him knowing? But more than curiosity, he felt both worried and sad that these two people, both important to him, could not get along. Michiru knew he needed to lighten up the atmosphere. “Oh, this is great, Mika-san! I’ve been thinking about getting this cake for a while now, but I haven’t had the time. Come on in and let’s have some tea. I have the article ready for you, as well,” he ushered Mika-san to the living room while Kaede just looked on.

I need to ask him about this, Michiru thought. It was just too weird how hostile Kaede was towards Mika-san. There had to be some reason behind it. With this in mind, Michiru put on some tea and prepared the cake for the three of them, resolving to talk to Kaede after Mika-san left.

Chapter One

Heart to Heart
By Ayasaka Kaoru

 Love Is a Risky Business

I have often wondered what it is like to fall in love. Here I am, turning twenty-six in a month, still ignorant of that one feeling that makes the world go round (or so they say). I have read so many books on romance, watched so many movies, and though there were many a scene that gave me butterflies in my stomach, I’m sensible enough to know that that kind of feeling doesn’t compare to the real thing. Love, after all, is so powerful that it drives people to become singers, poets, composers, writers. Love even drives some people mad. But most of all, love gives people strength, courage, and determination, and those who are lucky enough to experience true love will probably attest that it brings happiness, too.

The Filipino hero, Rizal, wrote that, “He who would love much has also much to suffer,” and though he was probably referring to a greater and much more profound love such as love of country, the quote nevertheless has a menacing ring to it. Loving is a risky business. To love someone fully is to bare your soul, offer yourself up on a silver platter, and let yourself be at the mercy of another. Whatever that person decides to do with you is out of your hands. If you love someone that much, then it also follows that that person can do you the most damage. And, in this world where trust had become a triviality and promises have become just mere words, is anyone really brave enough to risk getting hurt? Or rather, is anyone really stupid enough?

“You know, you really write like a girl,” Kaede’s muffled words came from the living room. Michiru heard him, but he was too busy to reply. After all, he needed to finish his next article in four hours. It’s always, always like this. He never gets the inspiration to write until it’s very near the deadline, something that frustrates even his sweet-tempered and patient editor, Mika-san. He read mail after mail from his fans, looking for that one topic that would get his creative juices flowing. He gets different kinds of emails each week—some disputing his views, some asking for advice, some proposing marriage or some other kind of relationship, and a large number of mails are those expressing gratitude. Even after two years of doing this job, his heart still swells whenever someone writes to him and says he has helped them with their problems. He just couldn’t get enough of that feeling.

Michiru remembered the first time Mika-san met with him, saying that the editor-in-chief of the number one women’s lifestyle magazine Radiance wanted to meet him. It turned out that Nishimura-san, the editor-in-chief, came across an article he wrote for Gloss, the teen magazine from the same publishing company. N-san (as he liked to be called) checked out all the articles that Michiru wrote for Gloss, as well as for other magazines. He then asked Mika-san to scout Michiru and offer him a job as a regular columnist. Michiru was a freelance writer then, so he jumped at the chance to have a weekly column in the prestigious magazine.

It was only after he signed the contract that N-san told him he would be writing as a woman, since the focus of his weekly column was on women’s relationship problems. “You will be more credible that way, and women will open up to you. After all, a woman won’t really ask a man for advice on love and relationships, right?” N-san smiled boyishly at him as he dropped this bomb. Michiru felt his smile freeze on his face, and all he could do at that time was nod and wipe his sweaty palms on his pants. His mind was spinning, thinking and thinking of how to get out of the contract. There’s no way I’d be able to write as a woman! And isn’t this tricking the readers? And I’ll be writing about relationships! Women might even ask me for advice! These thoughts were jumbled in his panicked mind. He vaguely remembered shaking N-san’s hand, then being led by Mika-san towards the exit.

“…-sensei…Satou-sensei!” Mika-san’s voice jolted Michiru out of his reverie. “I’m sorry, Mika-san,” he said ruefully. “I was quite overwhelmed with everything so my mind’s still not working properly, I’m afraid.”  Mika-san smiled apologetically at him. “We should be the one to apologize. I know we kind of tricked you into this, but N-san liked your work so much that he said we had to get you no matter what.” She was clearly embarrassed.

“No, please don’t apologize. The truth is, I am extremely flattered that Radiance wanted me. It is after all the leading women’s magazine. What I’m worried about is that I might not be able to deliver the kind of writing style N-san is expecting from me. As you can see, I’m a man, so I’m not sure I am qualified to be giving advice to women. More importantly, I have never had a girlfriend so I don’t know much about relationships,” In his nervousness Michiru accidentally told Mika-san one of his best-kept secrets. He was about to blurt out that he’s still a virgin, but seeing as how Mika-san’s eyes widened at his revelation stopped him short. Mika-san caught herself and carefully hid her surprise.

“Hmm….Satou-sensei, I can understand now why you were panicking earlier. Though it is going to be difficult for you considering your lack of experience in, erm, certain things, I also don’t think it is impossible. I have read your work together with N-san, and your articles were always so insightful that we even thought someone much older wrote them. I’m sure you are the right person for this job. Think of all the women out there that you can help. I’m a woman, too, so I know how important it is to get a man’s point of view when it comes to matters of the heart. Though you will be concealing your true gender, you will be providing them with insight they would otherwise not get from another woman. I talked it over with N-san and though you will be writing under a pseudonym that the readers will most likely identify with a woman, we will not explicitly state that you are one. This way there’s no need for you to lie about your gender, and you don’t need to feel guilty about deceiving the readers. How’s that?” Mika-san was slightly out of breath after this monologue.

I can trust her, Michiru thought. He had always been a good judge of character and Mika-san’s honest eyes and straightforward attitude assured him. He took a deep breath and bowed his head. “Then, I’ll be in your care from now on,” he said, and smiled at his new editor. “And I will be in your care, Satou-sensei,” said Mika-san with a beaming face and returned his bow.

Michiru’s stomach grumbled loudly, and Mika-san let out a surprised laugh. “Well, now that that’s settled, let’s celebrate our new working relationship, Sensei. Dinner and drinks are on me.”

Synopsis

Michiru is a columnist for a women’s lifestyle magazine. Aside from his editor, best friend, and the magazine’s editor-in-chief, nobody knows that he is actually a man in real life. He writes under the pen name Ayasaka Kaoru, and his sensitive and insightful take on relationships has earned him quite a following. Aside from his identity, Michiru has another secret: he has never been in love, has never been in a relationship… and he is still a virgin!

Kaede is Michiru’s best friend since college. He is an elite businessman with a stoic, calculating, and self-serving personality. He never does anything that does not benefit him, and all his relationships are based on convenience. In spite of this women fall easily for his good looks and indifferent attitude.

Even the gentle Michiru often wonders why Kaede is still friends with him, when their friendship does not benefit the selfish man in any way.

Or does it?

Hajimemashite!

Ohayou, minna-san! I created this site specifically for the stories that I’m going to write. I already have several ideas for a yaoi novel but because I’m still busy with my job I still haven’t gotten down to writing it yet. But please keep checking this page for updates! Arigatou!